St. Louis Cardinals triage update

Can anyone update me on the health sitation(s) of or planned returns for Mark Mulder, Chris Carpenter, David Eckstein, or Jim Edmonds?

Finish the joke

Show me the FUNNY!

 ”A man who is slightly, but very evidently, balding walks into a barber shop.  He says to the proprietor, ‘I’d like just a little off the top, please’.  To which one of the vocal-locals replies……”

Membership Covenants for local churches

Most civic groups in your community have minimum standard requirements of their membership.  These generally include, but are not limited to, meeting attendance, dues payment, participation in service within the club, etc….

I’ve noticed a wonderful trend in many local churches to include membership covenants as a part of joining with that local body.  These convenants have statements about attendance, tithing / offering, and participation in service / volunteerism.

What experience do you have with membership covenants for local churches?  How do churches put some “teeth” to these covenants when individual members stray from their commitments?  If you don’t have any experience with church membership covenants, how does this notion strike you?

Monday Conundrum

If I’m flying on an airplane and I request peanuts, I will be told, “We no longer serve peanuts because some people have a severe reaction to them.  It is in the best interests of everyone that we don’t serve them to anyone.”

Why don’t they apply the same logic to serving alcohol on airlines?  Some people can’t hold their liquor.  So let’s not serve it to anyone!

Statistical improbability….like, big time!

What are the odds that if you attended a Frontier League baseball game that you would catch a home run or foul ball?  Assume that there 5,000 people in attendance.

When my younger son, Alex, attended his very first Gateway Grizzlies game in East St. Louis, he caught a home run ball.  He was very excited.

He returned to watch another Grizzlies game the next year.  Guess what?  He caught another home run ball!  That’s two games, and two souvenir balls.

Last night we went to Rent One Park in Marion to watch the Southern Illinois Miners play the Washington Wild Things.  It was Alex’s first visit to see the local Miners.  And would you believe…he caught a foul ball!

That’s three games attended and three balls caught…..can someone help me figure the odds on that?  And while you’re at it, could you help me find a verse in the Bible that would allow us to buy him a lottery ticket?  Smile!

Blockbuster sports trade announced!!!

MIAMI (AP) – The Miami Dolphins and the St. Louis Cardinals have announced the first trade of its kind EVER in the history of sports.  The Dolphins will send disgruntled QB Daunte Culpepper to the Cardinals for pitchers Anthony Reyes and Kip Wells.

The Cardinals have determined that they need to be scoring in “6’s” instead of single runs.  So they hope to have Culpepper throwing touchdowns to keep them in games against power house MLB squads like the KC Royals.

The Dolphins will put Reyes and Wells in concession uniforms to work the stands.  The reason?  No one can serve ‘em up like these two clowns!

Of course, I’m joking.  But, hey, this just might work!

The over/under at this weekend’s US Open Golf Championship

Let’s not try to predict a winner.  The over/under for this week’s tourney will be the number of times commentator Johnny Miller will refer to his own awe-inspiring prowess in the ‘73 Open at historic Oakmont.  The 63 he carded on Sunday “back in the day” was amazing.  But will it be more amazing than how often he refers to it in this week’s opining?

Story on The Open from foxsports.com appears here.

Woodpeckers on the ark

You have no doubt seen the cartoon that shows Noah’s ark full of holes.  The drawing is captioned with something in regard to rethinking bringing woodpeckers onto the ark.  It’s cute.

I believe that the woodpeckers were allowed to come into the ark.  But I don’t believe they were allowed to continue practicing their old nature.  Through some miraculous intervention, God made it to where the woodpeckers wouldn’t become the death of those around them.

Similarly, we in local church ministry need to be most welcoming to sinful people (that’s everyone, by the way).  But as open-armed as we need to be to sinners, we need to be adamantly opposed to their sin.

If God had allowed the woodpeckers to practice their old nature, it would have resulted in negative consequences for all the other lives on the ark.

If local churches allow saved sinners to continue practicing their old-nature habits (greed, gossip, gluttony, dishonesty), it will result in negative consequences for everyone in that local church.

Max Lucado said that God loves us just the way we are…and too much to leave us that way.  God can super-naturally intervene and allow us to live holy lives that are contrary to our sinful nature.

That should be the way a local church goes about discipling folks.  Love them just the way they are…and too much to leave them that way.

Paris Hilton released from jail due to “medical reasons”

Translation…..she was making everyone within earshot of her whining absolutely sick to their stomachs.

Friday Conundrum #2

I saw an ad on an info-mercial recently for “the last razor you’ll ever have to buy”.  Sounds good.

Then at the end of the ad, I was told that if I ordered within the next 15 minutes they would include a second razor at no additional cost.

Why would I need two of “the last razor I’ll ever have to buy”?